Friends

Why is it that most of my friends seem to leave me when I screw up just once? Aren't friends supposed to stay with you no matter what?
It's not easy finding good friends, and it's even harder keeping them. It just doesn't seem fair that you can't have good friends be there for you.
Yes I am talking out of experience. I know not everyone is this way, I just feel like I have no one to talk to anymore.
Last night I went to the church I usually go to on Wednesday nights, but haven't gone to for a while. And because i got into a fight with one of my friends there a little over a month ago he still isn't talking to me and he won't even look at me. And because of this it made me really sad and lonely because no one else there talks to me really. So I was the little emo girl sitting in the corner waiting for someone to notice me and come sit by me. No one did. The whole time I kept trying to talk and answer questions, but it was weird because it made it even more noticeable by myself.
Maybe it is just me and maybe I overreacted. But I can't help the way it made me feel.
Now I'm not trying to complain and be whiny and bratty because not everything went my way, I'm not usually like this.
I just want people to read this and think about their friends and how that kid in the corner must feel when they look around and see everyone laughing and having fun. Everyone has someone except that one person. How would that make you feel?
It's no fun being the new kid or the shy kid or the kid that just doesn't belong. I should know at my new church (the one i go to on Sunday mornings) I'm the new kid. So every Sunday I sit by myself and look around and wish someone would come and talk to me. And again I'm not trying to be whinny but blogs are made so you can complain right? Right!
Just think about it next time you see a kid by themselves. Okay?
Now I'm going on way too much.
More later

So

I was talking to one of my friends the other night
and he started talking about drugs
and stuff
and im like soooo not into that
because it pretty much ruined my life
and i got all emotional
and i got all mad and was like "you shouldnt do that, its bad for you adn bad for people around you. And it could make a huge differance in how you act."
yeah it was
weird
i guess
it just made me think about stuff when i was little and stuff
so i went to bed and was like all sad and stuff
D:

anyway
So yesterday i was soo super bored but all this week i dont have school very long because im helping my grandma decorate her house for christmas
its fun but yesterday her christmas tree bit me so i have scratches all over my arms
and i was all tired and my back hurt


but i finally got sleep, i haevnt been able to sleep well for the last few nights. and when i finally fell asleep at 2 in the morning i would have a bad dream and wake up and not be able to get back to sleep
but last night
i went to bed at 11 and slept till 8
wooo!
im soo hyper now

more later